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 I don't like to participate  in class because people always take it the wrong way. It's either I am talking too much, contributing too much or being too smart. I am not ashamed to speak up or participate, however, it's like my peers don't want to learn from me. We are in the same class and  apparently that constitutes for aptitude-- so no need for my opinion.  I participate anyway; I do not care what people think because, quite frankly, people do not think.

Every time I try to answer one of their questions or the teacher's question, I notice the familiar look of exasperation. It's so funny because they actually want to know my answer, but they seem tired of the same scene-- them with the questions and I with all the answers. Someone told me, I changed. She said I was more focused on schoolwork and my education in 9th or tenth grade. And now .. not so much. I told her the only thing that changed was my arrogance. I got rid of it. She only knew I was "focused" in school because I used to boast about it.  To anyone reading this, believe me, arrogance, egotism and overconfidence are three deadly diseases and would kill every talent you possess. Do not catch it.

The Heart of D[ifficult]

     
" It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream-- making a vain attempt, because no relation of a dream can convey the dream sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is of the very essence of a dream...." . ( Conrad, Pg 32).
              I thought Pride and Prejudice was a dense book until I read the first page of  "The Heart of Darkness". It's not that the book is boring, I actually find it interesting because Joseph Conrad is a spectacular writer! The quote above is from a page in the Heart of Darkness; that entire quote is basically saying that to tell a dream is a vain attempt because there is no way one can recapture that experience in a few mere words. Conrad says a dream is the incredible because it is a mystery. I believe that is the very essence of  dreams.
         What makes this text difficult to understand is that the reader is focused on word choice rather  than content. I can tell you everything that has passed in the novel, however, a deep analysis? I haven't the chance to think that deep. I have no opinion on Marlow's journey nor any characters, and everything I have conjectured is from the novel itself.  That is the error of most readers. I mean what is the purpose of reading -- if not comprehension?

Matrices ( ID )

           The first time I heard the word matrix was in Bio--"extracellular matrix" which consist of proteoglycan complexes, fibrinogen, collagen, and integrins. So I always thought of a matrix as a mixture but in precalc a matrix is an array of numbers.  So maybe the same way numbers make up a matrix in calculus proteoglycans and other proteins make up the extracellular matrix in biology? Anyways, I learned that I have to do my homework to understand precalc class like if I do not get any practice then I would forget everything the next day. So I experimented with my precalc homework. Class has become considerably easier. I realized many subjects are related and it was a pleasure connecting similarities between my classes.
          Ms. Rios taught my class how to put a system of equations into row echelon forms. This was a challenging practice at first because you were limited to three rules to convert the equation into row echelon form. The most difficult part was that there wasn't a specific way to find the row echelon form, it was up to you to figure it. The exercise was gratifying because I eventually came to the right answer.