thoughts..

I hate work. I hate rushing. I hate hopelessness. and I hate auto correct.  and I hate ignorance. and I hate competition.  and I hate the people I surround myself with. how should I handle these issues ? how can the burden  be lifted ? what do I do ? seriously, every time I think about what the problem is I just know what it is. how do I escape. how do I handle it without hurting anyone . how can I just drop everyone without any explanation ?  I seriously seriously seriously seriously seriously sometimes hate them. why do I always find fault in others but not me ? I'd fail a class and blame the teacher's lack of flexibility and austere attitude.  instead why did I wait so long. and where the hell are my priorities ? why do I care about  fucking others I'm not even together, why do people's opinions matter ? I hate admitting that some people opinions matt-- oh then again it doesnt. it feel so good to do what i want. it feels so good. should i just do that ? I'm really taking advantage of this free write... like a virtual diary... hmm.

AP bio : Chapter exhaustion

              I have never worked hard to get really good grades or  pass tests it usually came naturally to me. I am a procrastination KING ! Work wouldn't get done unless the day before it is due. I know, I know its a bad habit. However, I don't really go outside, or hang out with friends so when I get home I have to have my fun therefore homework usually comes last. Now what does this have to do with Ap bio class? It is messing up my " fun routine" when I get home.


             Ms. Lall gives sections to read every night , and there are quizzes and tests every single         *effing week. Right now we are on chapter 9- cellular respiration; How does the cell use what we eat and convert it to energy ? ITS A COMPLICATED AND CONFUSING PROCESS THAT WOULD EXCERSICE THE HELL OUT OF YOUR BRAIN TO THE POINT OF EXHAUSTION. I love it though ! weird right? but it seems like what I really needed was a challenge and cellular respiration is by far my favorite chapter.


            I learned that life is work ( literally); living cells require energy to work.  Where do they get this energy ? How do cells convert potential energy from food to kinetic energy ? What is the special relationship between you and the entire ecosystem ? I thought I knew the answers, but it was only the surface.  ok it goes like this , animals eat plants or obtain energy by eating animals that eat plants, so that energy flows into the ecosystem as sunlight ( which animals convert to heat ) and leaves as heat.  Pretty easy to master right ? yeah i think not.

Harry Potter

I used to despise the Harry Potter series , I couldn't  understand the reason my sister went crazy over it! I mean she read all 6 books ( 7th book wasn't released yet ) repeatedly.  Like didnt the effect of reading it over and over wear off ? What was the whole point of reading it over and  watching the movies repeatedly when you already know WHAT HAPPENS ?  I asked her this of course and she replied,  " I just can't get over it" .

I woke up one day and she was watching Harry Potter and the  Goblet of fire, I sat up and watched with her. I couldn't deny it was a great movie , so I tried the books .  I read sorcerer's stone and put it down after I read the first page. It was boring. 

Well they say second time's a charm right ? right. I was in 6th grade and we went to the school library, I'd read all of the interesting books there so I just checked out Goblet of Fire , just to give it a chance.    I LOVED IT ! That day marked an important step in my life, I conquered my fears for trying new things and I learned how to challenge myself. Harry Potter channeled every emotion possible so I could read it any mood. It was like me and the characters were entwined; I was them , I walked down corridors, I got a D in potions,  I was a wizard !!!!!!

I know it's a cliche , however Harry Potter was like a brand new world, an environment that I fit it, it was my niche. I'd be okay in school if no one spoke to me or the boy I liked didn't like me back , because Harry went through all of that too. Everyone thinks Harry Potter is this sci-fi fantasy when in reality it was  coming of age story brilliantly recorded. I've read each Harry Potter book more than 2 time each,  the effect of reading them over and over never wore off instead I caught things I didn't see the first time.  So each time I read it, I'd still get excited about it.

Umu's Blog

College !!!!!!!!!!!!!

       I am trying very hard not be to be stressed about college application deadlines. I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.  It's like there's no break Mon-Fri, on Sat-Sun i would like to relax however I have a lot to do as well. Theres no break , no me time, at this point I am reaching a breaking point. I'm missing some class work for some classes. I don't know how to  manage, organize and meet deadlines.  I need to learn how to be proficient in these three things for my benefit.

        Okay , first i will tackle how manage my time, but what do I do first, last ? What about friend management ?  HE is not in this school anymore so there's no way I can blame him for being distracted from my studies. OK let's go back to management. School work v. College deadlines , which should be my priority ? they are both important but college deadlines are more important right ? I can always talk to a teacher for an extension but not colleges. OK how about this , 7th period , do all homework unless you're doing work for Ms.Lall. Then when you get home you can do college stuff. And as for friends , socialize when you see them , they aren't a priority.
 

       Now, ORGANIZATION . Your book bag should only have things you NEED. Don't exhaust yourself trying to hold on to unnecessary shit. First , get a planner AND USE IT.  Give yourself a schedule, meet your own deadlines.  Last, Meeting deadlines, use your planner to be organized so you know when things are due .  And with prioritization , you can do important things ahead of time !